From Despair to Hope: Breaking the Silence on Suicidal Tendencies
Isaac Megbolugbe
October 11, 2024
As someone who struggled with suicidal thoughts for years, despite outward success, I understand the complex web of circumstances that can lead to despair. My story sheds light on the often-hidden reality that even believers in God and Heaven can face the darkness of suicidal tendencies.
The Unseen Slide into Despair
My journey into despair began with relentless attacks from family, in-laws, coworkers, and acquaintances. Qualities that once earned admiration and success became targets of envy and criticism. The pressure mounted, and I found myself trapped in a dungeon of despair.
The Masks of Success
By worldly standards, I was thriving:
– High-profile executive at Fannie Mae Foundation
– Recipient of huge financial bonuses
– Admired for exceptional capabilities
However, these achievements became sources of hate and threat, sparking a vicious cycle of sabotage.
The Breaking Point
The final straw came when:
– Seven top industry CEOs conspired against me
– A CFO was tasked with taking over my project after I was driven from Fannie Mae after another high profile project was taken from me.
– My daughter, a high-achieving Johns Hopkins student, turned against me
The cumulative effect of these attacks pushed me to the edge.
The Darkness of Despair
Despair is a suffocating, isolating experience:
– No light to guide
– No space to move
– No hope for escape
Death becomes an attractive escape, and you pray for its release.
Searching for Loopholes
I scoured the Bible for a justification to end my life, still seeking a way to enter Heaven.
A Critical Realization
Suicidal tendencies can affect anyone, regardless of faith or success.
Breaking the Silence
Sharing my story aims to:
1. Raise awareness about suicidal tendencies
2. Encourage open conversations
3. Offer hope to those struggling
Hope in the Darkness
God’s Spirit intervened during my most intense ambush, granting me calm and joy. This experience reignited my faith and sparked a journey toward healing.
Lessons Learned
1. Despair can affect anyone.
2. Success is not immune to suicidal thoughts.
3. Faith can coexist with suicidal tendencies.
4. Open conversations can save lives.
Conclusion
Suicidal thoughts and tendencies require compassion, understanding, and support. Let’s break the silence and create a safe space for sharing struggles.
Resources
– National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK)
– Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741)
– Local mental health services
Reflection Questions
1. Have you or someone you know struggled with suicidal thoughts?
2. How can we create a supportive environment for open conversations?
3. What resources can you share with those struggling?
Scripture Meditation
– Psalm 23:4
– Matthew 11:28-30
– 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
May my story inspire hope and spark meaningful conversations about mental health and faith.
