The Erosion of God-Centered Marriages in Christendom
Isaac Megbolugbe
September 27, 2024
Introduction
Marriage, a sacred institution established by God, has undergone significant changes within Christian communities. Alarmingly, Christian marriages now closely resemble secular unions, drifting away from their divine foundation. This shift has led to a crisis in the very fabric of family and community. I am alarmed, as a widower in my 70s, navigating the treacherous terrain of dating that forces within and outside the Body of Christ have landscaped. Be warned.
God’s Original Design
In Genesis 2:24, God ordained marriage as a lifelong union between one man and one woman. This divine institution was intended to anchor families as a fundamental unit of society. With God as the Head, the husband serves as His deputy, submitting to God’s authority. The wife, in turn, submits to her husband’s leadership, while children obey their parents (Ephesians 5:22-6:4, Colossians 3:18-21).
The Centrality of God
In a God-centered marriage, the focus is not on the husband, wife, or children, but on the divine Head. This structure ensures:
1. Spiritual guidance
2. Mutual submission
3. Respectful relationships
4. Orderly household management
Deviation from God’s Plan
Modern Christian marriages often deviate from this blueprint:
1. Husband-centered: authoritarianism and dominance
2. Wife-centered: matriarchal control and emotional manipulation
3. Child-centered: prioritizing children’s desires over parental authority
Consequences of Drifting from God’s Design
1. Eroding spiritual foundations
2. Increased conflict and division
3. Weakened family structures
4. Secularization of marriage
Restoring God-Centered Marriages
To reclaim the original intent of marriage:
1. Realign with biblical principles
2. Prioritize mutual submission to God
3. Foster open communication and respect
4. Cultivate spiritual leadership and accountability
Revitalizing Christ-Centered Unions
By returning to God’s blueprint, Christian marriages can:
1. Reflect God’s love and wisdom
2. Strengthen family bonds
3. Inspire community transformation
4. Glorify God
Conclusion
Marriage, as instituted by God, requires a radical return to its divine roots. By acknowledging God as the central Head, Christian couples can rediscover the beauty and harmony inherent in His design.
*Scripture Meditation*
– Genesis 2:24
– Ephesians 5:22-6:4
– Colossians 3:18-21
– Matthew 19:4-6
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*Basic Training in God-Centered Marriages 1: Biblical Roles and Responsibilities Within Marriages*
Introduction
Marriage, as instituted by God, involves distinct roles and responsibilities for husbands and wives. Understanding these biblical principles fosters a harmonious, Christ-centered union.
*Husband’s Roles and Responsibilities:*
1. Spiritual Leadership (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Corinthians 16:13-16)
– Lead family devotions and prayer
– Guide spiritual growth and decisions
2. Love and Sacrifice (Ephesians 5:25-33)
– Demonstrate Christ-like love and selflessness
– Prioritize wife’s needs and well-being
3. Provision and Protection (1 Timothy 5:8)
– Provide financially and emotionally
– Protect family from harm and danger
4. Headship (Ephesians 5:23)
– Lead with humility and servant-leadership
– Make decisions with wife’s input
*Wife’s Roles and Responsibilities:*
1. Support and Encouragement (Ephesians 5:33)
– Be husband’s helpmate and companion
– Offer emotional support and encouragement
2. Submission (Ephesians 5:22-24)
– Respect and submit to husband’s leadership
– Support husband’s spiritual leadership
3. Nurturing and Care (Titus 2:4-5)
– Care for children and manage household
– Demonstrate love, kindness, and compassion
4. Partnership (Genesis 2:18)
– Collaborate with husband in decision-making
– Share responsibilities and burdens
*Mutual Responsibilities:*
1. Mutual Submission (Ephesians 5:21)
– Submit to each other in love and respect
2. Communication (Ephesians 4:29-32)
– Speak truth, avoid hurtful words
3. Forgiveness (Matthew 18:15)
– Address conflicts, forgive freely
4. Intimacy (Genesis 2:24)
– Cultivate emotional and physical connection
Biblical Principles
1. Equality (Galatians 3:28)
2. Interdependence (1 Corinthians 11:11-12)
3. Mutual Respect (Ephesians 5:33)
Recommended Resources
1. “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller
2. “The Marriage Builder” by Larry Crabb
3. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Scripture Meditation
1. Ephesians 5:22-33
2. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
3. Genesis 2:24
4. Matthew 19:4-6
*Basic Training in God-Centered Marriages 2: Practical Applications for Restoring God-Centered Marriages*
1. Regular prayer and Bible study together
2. Mutual submission and respect
3. Open communication and active listening
4. Conflict resolution through forgiveness and understanding
5. Prioritizing quality time together
6. Seeking mentorship or counseling from biblical perspectives
7. Engaging in community service and ministry together
*Biblical Roles and Responsibilities within Marriage*
1. Husbands: Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7
– Love and sacrifice
– Spiritual leadership
– Provider and protector
2. Wives: Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-6
– Respect and submission
– Support and encouragement
– Nurturing and care
*Resources for Marriage Counseling or Enrichment*
1. Focus on the Family ((link unavailable))
2. FamilyLife ((link unavailable))
3. The Marriage Foundation ((link unavailable))
4. Christian Counseling services (e.g., AACC, CCA)
5. Bible studies and workshops (e.g., “The Art of Marriage”)
*Recommended Books*
1. “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller
2. “The Marriage Builder” by Larry Crabb
3. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley Jr.
4. “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs
5. “The Power of a Praying Husband/Wife” by Stormie Omartian
*Scripture-Based Marriage Studies*
1. Ephesians 5:22-33
2. 1 Corinthians 13:1-7
3. 1 Peter 3:1-7
4. Colossians 3:18-21
5. Genesis 2:24
*Basic Training in God-Centered Marriages 3: Effective Communication*
1. Active Listening: Give undivided attention, maintain eye contact.
2. Clear Expression: Share thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly.
3. Empathy: Understand and acknowledge partner’s perspective.
4. Non-Defensiveness: Avoid blame, focus on resolution.
5. Regular Feedback: Encourage open dialogue.
*Conflict Resolution*
1. Stay Calm: Manage emotions, avoid escalation.
2. Identify Issues: Clarify problems, avoid assumptions.
3. Seek Understanding: Listen to partner’s concerns.
4. Focus on Solutions: Collaborate on resolutions.
5. Forgiveness: Let go of grudges, move forward.
*Biblical Principles*
1. Ephesians 4:29-32: Speak truth, avoid hurtful words.
2. Proverbs 15:1: Gentle answers deflate conflict.
3. Matthew 18:15: Address issues directly, respectfully.
4. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love patiently, kindly.
*Communication Tools*
1. Schedule regular date nights for meaningful conversations.
2. Practice “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
3. Use positive language, focus on solutions.
4. Take breaks when emotions escalate.
*Conflict Resolution Strategies*
1. Identify triggers, address underlying issues.
2. Seek mediation from a trusted counselor or pastor.
3. Practice forgiveness, letting go of grudges.
4. Cultivate gratitude, focusing on shared blessings.
*Recommended Resources*
1. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
2. “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs
3. “The Marriage Builder” by Larry Crabb
4. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley Jr.
*Scripture Meditation*
1. Ephesians 4:29-32
2. Proverbs 15:1
3. Matthew 18:15
4. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
