The Reality of Human Relationship
Isaac Megbolugbe
December 28, 2025
Introduction
Over a lifetime, people come and go, leaving varying impacts on our lives. The key is how we respond, reflecting on the person we’re becoming. As we grow in resilience and discernment, we recognize patterns that shape our relationships.
1. Focus on Those Who Stay
Prioritize those who choose to stay, appreciate, empower, and respect you. Invest in relationships with people who uplift and support you. Conversely, set boundaries with those who stay but remain toxic, disrespectful, or judgmental. Protect your emotional well-being by limiting their influence.
2. Maintain a Good Heart, but Be Wise
Keep your heart good and pure, but be aware that others may take advantage. Expect to be let down or cheated, not because you’re naive, but because some people will exploit your kindness. Balance kindness with wisdom.
3. Silence is Golden
Don’t waste energy on those who don’t deserve attention. Be selective and discriminatory with your attention, recognizing its value and opportunity cost. Use silence to protect yourself and conserve energy for meaningful connections.
4. Focus on Growth, Not Vicissitudes
Life is full of ups and downs, but focus on growth and transformation. With faith, all things work together for good (Romans 8:28). Don’t obsess over the quality of your relationships; instead, prioritize your own growth and purpose.
Prioritize What Matters
– Invest in meaningful relationships
– Maintain a good heart, but be wise
– Use silence strategically
– Focus on growth and transformation
By adopting these principles, you’ll cultivate resilience, discernment, and a deeper understanding of human relationships.
Managing Relationships within Your Sphere of Influence
As you navigate life, you’re surrounded by various relationships – some nourishing, others draining. Effectively managing these relationships is crucial for your emotional well-being and growth.
Focus on What You Can Control
Start by focusing on relationships within your sphere of influence. You can’t change others, but you can control how you respond and invest in relationships.
Categorize Your Relationships
Portion your relationships into two buckets:
– Good Relationships: Nourishing, supportive, and uplifting connections with people who appreciate and respect you.
– Toxic Relationships: Draining, disrespectful, or judgmental interactions that harm your emotional well-being.
Create Boundaries
Establishing boundaries is key to maintaining healthy relationships and protecting yourself from toxic ones. Set clear limits with those who:
– Consistently drain your energy
– Disrespect or belittle you
– Refuse to respect your boundaries
Focus on Those Who Stay
Prioritize relationships with people who:
– Choose to stay and invest in you
– Appreciate and respect you
– Empower and uplift you
Invest in these relationships, nurturing them with time, effort, and love.
Manage Toxic Relationships
For relationships that remain toxic, set boundaries to protect yourself:
– Limit interactions or distance yourself
– Establish clear expectations
– Prioritize self-care and seek support
You Teach People How to Treat You
By setting boundaries and prioritizing positive relationships, you teach others how to treat you. Expect respect, and you’ll be more likely to receive it.
Maintaining a Good Heart in a Complex World
Cultivating a good heart is a lifelong journey, and it’s essential to prioritize it. However, it’s equally important to be aware of your surroundings and the people in your life. Some individuals might take advantage of your kindness, not because you’re naive, but because they’re opportunistic.
The Risk of Goodness
When you’re kind and generous, people tend to gravitate toward you. While it’s great to be a source of support, be cautious of those who exploit your goodwill. Some might even stay close, anticipating your next act of kindness.
Balance Kindness with Wisdom
You don’t need to become cynical or guarded, butrather balance your kindness with wisdom. Be aware of red flags, and don’t overinvest in relationships that consistently drain you.
Protect Your Energy
– Set boundaries with those who take advantage
– Prioritize self-care and self-love
– Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you
– Be discerning about who you trust
A Good Heart Doesn’t Mean a Weak One
Maintaining a good heart doesn’t mean you’re vulnerable to exploitation. It means you’re strong enough to choose kindness, even in challenging situations.
Stay Wise, Stay Kind
Keep your heart good and pure, but stay aware of your surroundings. Balance kindness with wisdom, and you’ll navigate relationships with confidence.
The Power of Silence: Conserving Energy for What Matters
In a world where everyone seems to be vying for attention, silence can be a powerful tool. It’s not about being passive or ignoring issues; it’s about being intentional with your energy and attention.
The Value of Selective Attention
Your attention is a valuable resource, and it’s crucial to be selective about where you invest it. Not everyone deserves your energy, especially those who drain you with toxicity.
Silence as Protection
Silence can be a protective shield, safeguarding you from unnecessary drama and stress. By choosing not to engage, you’re denying toxic individuals the reaction they crave.
Minimizing Oxygen for Toxicity
Using silence to minimize oxygen for toxic behavior is a wise strategy. It starves the toxicity of the attention it needs to thrive.
When to Employ Silence
– When dealing with toxic individuals who won’t change
– When emotions are running high, and clarity is needed
– When you need to conserve energy for meaningful connections
The Art of Disengagement
Disengaging from toxic interactions doesn’t mean you’re abandoning responsibility or condoning behavior. It means you’re prioritizing your well-being and focusing on what matters.
Silence ≠ Ignorance
Silence doesn’t mean you’re unaware or unmoved. It means you’re choosing to respond thoughtfully, rather than react impulsively.
Conserving Energy for What Matters
Use your energy to nurture meaningful connections, pursue your passions, and cultivate personal growth. Silence can be golden when it helps you focus on what truly matters.
Focus on Growth, Not Vicissitudes
Life’s journey is marked by ups and downs, twists and turns. But what if instead of getting entangled in the vicissitudes, you focused on growth and transformation? With faith, you can trust that all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).
Growth Over Circumstances
When you prioritize growth, you’re not ignoring life’s challenges; you’re choosing to focus on what you can control – your response, your obedience, and your transformation. You’re acknowledging that God is sovereign, and He’s working all things for your good.
Don’t Obsess Over Relationships
Rather than obsessing over the quality of your relationships, focus on your own growth and purpose. Let God be God and prioritize your obedience. You can’t control how others behave, but you can control how you respond.
Wheat and Tares
The Bible says God allows both wheat and tares to grow together (Matthew 13:24-30). A time of separation will come when God harvests wheat for His barn but collects tares for burning. Focus on being wheat – growing, fruitful, and obedient.
Key Focus Areas
– Your Growth: Prioritize personal transformation and obedience.
– God’s Sovereignty: Trust He’s working all things for good.
– Your Response: Choose how you respond to life’s challenges.
As you focus on growth, you’ll find peace in the midst of life’s ups and downs.
The Art of Managing Human Relationships: A Balanced Approach
Managing human relationships can be likened to portfolio management in the business world, where one balances risk and return while optimizing outcomes. However, relationships involve an added dimension – righteousness. It’s about making choices that align with your values, even when faced with tempting alternatives.
The Risk/Return Framework
Just as investors assess risk and potential returns, you can apply a similar framework to relationships:
– High-Risk, High-Return: Relationships that offer significant growth potential but come with emotional risks.
– Low-Risk, Low-Return: Comfortable, low-stakes connections that may not drive significant growth.
– Toxic Relationships: High-risk, potentially damaging connections that may not yield positive returns.
Righteousness: The Guiding Principle
In managing relationships, righteousness is key. This means prioritizing integrity, respect, and kindness, even when it’s challenging. The payoff of “evil” or taking the easy way out may seem appealing, but it can compromise your values and relationships.
Prioritize What Matters
– Invest in Meaningful Relationships: Focus on connections that nurture growth and mutual support.
– Maintain a Good Heart, but Be Wise*: Balance kindness with discernment and boundaries.
– Use Silence Strategically: Protect yourself and conserve energy for what matters.
– Focus on Growth and Transformation: Prioritize personal growth, and trust that relationships will evolve positively.
Cultivating Resilience and Discernment
By adopting these principles, you’ll develop resilience in navigating complex relationships and discernment in choosing where to invest your energy. You’ll cultivate a deeper understanding of human connections and build relationships that align with your values.
Embracing Wholeness: The Journey of Human Relationships
As we conclude this exploration of human relationships, we’re reminded that it’s a journey of growth, transformation, and self-discovery. The key is not to get entangled in the complexities, but to focus on what we can control – our responses, boundaries, and priorities.
Prioritizing What Matters
– Invest in meaningful relationships that uplift and support you
– Maintain a good heart, but be wise and discerning
– Use silence strategically to protect yourself and conserve energy
– Focus on growth and transformation, trusting that relationships will evolve positively
Cultivating Resilience and Discernment
By adopting these principles, you’ll develop resilience in navigating complex relationships and discernment in choosing where to invest your energy. You’ll cultivate a deeper understanding of human connections and build relationships that align with your values.
Key Takeaways
– Focus on relationships that nurture growth and mutual support
– Set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being
– Prioritize self-care and self-love
– Trust that God is working all things for good (Romans 8:28)
As you continue this journey, remember that relationships are a reflection of the person you’re becoming. Prioritize growth, wisdom, and kindness, and you’ll navigate the complexities of human connections with confidence and peace
Isaac Megbolugbe, Director of GIVA Ministries International is focused on empowering believers to embrace a grace-driven life of holiness and obedience, passionately pursuing a deeper relationship with God within the boundaries of His sovereignty, and reflecting Christ’s character in their daily lives. He is retired professor at Johns Hopkins University, member of 2024 Marquis Organization’s Class of Top Executives in the United States of America and a Fellow of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors. He is resident in the United States of America.
