Aging Well and Supporting the Aged to Exit Well:
Navigating the Challenges of the 70s and 90s
Isaac Megbolugbe
November 30, 2024
Introduction
Aging is a complex and multifaceted process that presents unique challenges and opportunities. As we navigate the journey of life, it’s essential to adopt a holistic approach that addresses physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. This article explores the importance of aging well, supporting the aged, and navigating the challenges of the 70s and 90s. We’ll examine the phases of aging, the importance of place attachment, and strategies for creating a supportive environment. Additionally, we’ll discuss the role of caregivers, the significance of end-of-life care, and the value of adopting a calm and resilient approach to aging.
Confronting the Realities of Aging: A Personal Journey
I recently received a medical diagnosis that served as a wake-up call, forcing me to confront the challenges of aging head-on. The diagnosis wasn’t based on any underlying health issues, but rather on the cumulative effects of my workaholic lifestyle and the natural aging process. As I began to grasp the implications of this diagnosis, I realized that I had to take proactive steps to navigate the complexities of aging.
My background in gerontology, having directed a Johns Hopkins University Center for Senior Housing and Care in the early 2000s, provided a solid foundation for understanding the issues surrounding aging. However, nothing could have prepared me for the personal experience of facing aging-related challenges. My mother, who lived into her early 100s, set a high standard for aging, remaining physically and mentally active throughout her life. Now, as I witness my sister navigating her own aging journey in her 80s, and I confront my own health issues, I feel compelled to share my insights and experiences.
My current health concerns are not related to the traditional disease processes of cancer, autoimmune disorders, or infections. Instead, I’m dealing with the consequences of a possible natural decline in my immune system’s ability to combat bacterial and viral infections. The widespread presence of bacteria in my system serves as an early warning sign, prompting me to take proactive steps to upgrade my immune system and prevent potential health issues.
As I embark on this journey, I’m driven to share my experiences and insights with others. My goal is to provide valuable guidance and support to my peers and those following in our footsteps, helping them navigate the complexities of aging. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to take proactive steps in maintaining their health, well-being, and independence as they age.
The Challenges of Aging
The Phases of Aging: A General Framework: Aging is a complex and highly individualized process. While general patterns can be observed, individual experiences, lifestyle choices, and genetic factors significantly influence the aging process. Here’s a broad characterization of the different phases of aging:
Middle Age (40-60) (1) Physical prime: Peak strength, energy, and cognitive function. (2) Career establishment: Financial stability, family growth, and social connections. (3) Social connections: Strong relationships and social networks.
Young Old Age (60-70) (1) Transition to retirement: Significant life change, with a shift from work to leisure. (2) Physical changes: Weight gain, reduced energy, and age-related health issues. (3) Reflection and evaluation: Life assessment, evaluating accomplishments, and relationships. Challenging Old Age (70-80) (1) Accelerated physical decline: Increased risk of chronic health conditions, cognitive decline, and frailty. (2) Social isolation: Reduced mobility, hearing loss, and cognitive decline contribute to loneliness. (3) Emotional challenges: Grief, loss, anxiety, and emotional struggles intensify.
Oldest Old Age (80+) (1) Frailty and dependence: Increased reliance on others for daily care. (2) Cognitive decline: Accelerated cognitive decline, with increased risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. (3) End-of-life preparations: Advance care planning, estate planning, and spiritual reflection become more pressing concerns. Keep in mind that these characterizations are general and may vary significantly from person to person.
The Most Challenging Decade: The decade from 70 to 80 is often considered the most challenging period of aging. During this time, our physical bodies undergo significant changes, including declining strength, flexibility, and cognitive function. Additionally, we may experience the loss of loved ones, social isolation, and declining health, which can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being.
Despite these challenges, it is essential to prioritize aging well during our 70s. This can be achieved by: (1) Maintaining a healthy lifestyle: Engage in regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, and get sufficient sleep. (2) Staying socially connected: Nurture relationships with family and friends and participate in community activities. (3) Pursuing mental and emotional stimulation: Engage in hobbies, learn new skills, and practice stress-reducing techniques like meditation. (4) Prioritizing self-care: Make time for activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.
Supporting Our Parents in Their 90s: As our parents enter their 90s, they face unique challenges that require our support and care. Some of the ways we can support them include: (1) Providing emotional support: Spend quality time with them, listen to their concerns, and offer reassurance. (2) Assisting with daily tasks: Help with daily living activities, such as bathing, dressing, and managing medications. (3) Encouraging social interaction_: Support their participation in social activities, such as senior centers, church groups, or volunteer work. (4) Respecting their autonomy: Allow them to make their own decisions, whenever possible, and support their independence.
The Importance of Supporting the Aged to Exit Well: As our parents approach the end of their life journey, it is essential to support them in exiting well. This means: (1) Providing comfort and care: Ensure they receive proper medical care, pain management, and emotional support. (2) Respecting their wishes: Honor their end-of-life wishes, including their preferences for where and how to live stay, medical treatment, hospice care, or other support services. (3) Supporting their spiritual needs: Encourage them to reflect on their life, seek forgiveness, and find peace with their mortality. (4) Celebrating their life: Honor their legacy by sharing stories, memories, and achievements with family and friends.
Conclusion: Aging well during our 70s and supporting our parents in their 90s to live well as they prepare or wait to exit this life require careful attention, compassion, and dedication. By prioritizing our own physical, emotional, and mental well-being, while also supporting our aging parents, we can navigate the challenges of aging with dignity, grace, and love.
Place Attachment of the Very Elderly: Why do the very elderly often prefer choosing a relatively poorer environment over where they can be ten times more comfortable! It’s amazing. But the qualities we the younger elderly experience in our areas of comfort are undiscernible to our elderly parents. The connection they feel that anchor their experiences with the space that have served for them as the platform for activities of their daily living is powerful. There is scientific evidence to support how they feel. At the molecular level, the chemical and hormonal synchronization between their endocrine systems with the vibrations of the earth’s rotational and revolving electromagnetic systems are optimally cultivated over a lifetime!
The phenomenon that I am describing is often referred to as “place attachment” or “environmental embeddedness.” It’s a common observation that older adults often prefer to remain in familiar environments, even if they may not be the most comfortable or convenient, due to the strong emotional and psychological connections they’ve developed with those places over time.
Research has shown that place attachment is influenced by a combination of factors, including: (1) Emotional connections: The accumulation of memories, experiences, and emotions associated with a particular place. (2) Familiarity: The comfort and security that comes from knowing a place intimately. (3) Sense of control: The ability to navigate and interact with a familiar environment. (4) Social connections: The presence of family, friends, and community in a particular place.
The scientific evidence that I mentioned earlier regarding the molecular level synchronization between the endocrine system and the earth’s electromagnetic systems is a fascinating one. Research in the field of environmental psychology and neuroscience has shown that our brains are indeed influenced by our environment, and that our bodily rhythms can synchronize with natural environmental rhythms, such as the circadian rhythm.
This synchronization can have a profound impact on our physical and mental well-being, particularly as we age. For example, studies have shown that exposure to natural light and nature sounds can help regulate our circadian rhythms, improve our mood, and even reduce symptoms of dementia. In conclusion, the preference of older adults for familiar environments, despite potential discomfort or inconvenience, is a complex phenomenon influenced by a combination of emotional, psychological, and physiological factors. By understanding and respecting these factors, we can better support the well-being and quality of life of our aging population.
Finding Meaning and Purpose in Old Age: As we age, it’s essential to find meaning and purpose in life. This can be achieved by: (1) Reflecting on life experiences: Take time to reflect on your life, including your accomplishments, challenges, and relationships. (2) Pursuing hobbies and interests: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, such as gardening, painting, or playing music. (3) Giving back to others: Consider volunteering or mentoring others, which can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. (4) Nurturing spiritual growth: Deepen your spiritual practice, whether through prayer, meditation, or reading spiritual texts.
Supporting the Aged to Find Meaning and Purpose: As caregivers, we can support our aging parents in finding meaning and purpose in their lives. Here are some ways to do so: (1) Encourage storytelling: Encourage your parents to share their life stories, which can help them reflect on their experiences and find meaning. (2) Support their interests: Encourage your parents to pursue their hobbies and interests, which can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. (3) Facilitate social connections: Help your parents stay connected with friends and family, which can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging. (4) Respect their autonomy: Allow your parents to make their own decisions, whenever possible, which can help them feel more in control and fulfilled. In conclusion, aging well and supporting the aged to exit well require a holistic approach that addresses physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. By prioritizing our own well-being, supporting our aging parents, and helping them find meaning and purpose in their lives, we can navigate the challenges of aging with dignity, grace, and love.
Creating a Supportive Environment: Creating a supportive environment is crucial for aging well and supporting the aged. Here are some ways to create a supportive environment: (1) Home modifications: Make modifications to the home to ensure safety and accessibility, such as installing handrails, non-slip flooring, and good lighting. (2) Technology integration: Integrate technology into daily life, such as using medication reminders, personal alarms, and video calls to stay connected with loved ones. (3) Social support_: Encourage social interaction and connection with others, such as through senior centers, support groups, and volunteer opportunities. (4) Healthcare access: Ensure access to healthcare services, including regular check-ups, preventive care, and management of chronic conditions.
The Role of Caregivers: Caregivers play a vital role in supporting the aged. Here are some ways caregivers can support aging parents: (1) Emotional support: Provide emotional support and companionship, such as through regular visits, phone calls, and shared activities. (2) Practical support: Offer practical support, such as with household chores, meal preparation, and transportation. (3) Healthcare navigation: Help navigate the healthcare system, including managing medications, scheduling appointments, and communicating with healthcare providers. (4) Respite care: Provide respite care, such as through adult day care programs or in-home care services, to give caregivers a break and reduce stress. In conclusion, aging well and supporting the aged require a comprehensive approach that addresses physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. By creating a supportive environment, providing emotional and practical support, and navigating the healthcare system, caregivers can play a vital role in supporting aging parents. Ultimately, aging well is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and support.
Elderly End of Life Care and Celebration of their Exit: When the aged are dying let the love of their lives be the determining burial they look forward to. For example, those who prioritize their social life and roles are encouraged that their social community and peers will celebrate their exit and family and friends will recede in importance and prominence. By prioritizing the individual’s values, passions, and relationships, we can create a more personalized and meaningful experience for them.
Here are some potential ways to incorporate this approach: (1) Personalized funeral planning: Encourage the aged to plan their own funeral or celebration of life, considering their values, interests, and relationships. (2) Honoring their legacy: Celebrate the aged person’s life and legacy by incorporating elements that reflect their personality, achievements, and passions. (3) Involving their community*: Invite the aged person’s social community and peers to participate in the celebration of their life, acknowledging the importance of these relationships. (4) Respecting their wishes: Prioritize the aged person’s wishes and preferences regarding their end-of-life care and burial, even if they differ from traditional or cultural norms. (5) Creating a meaningful ritual: Develop a personalized ritual or ceremony that honors the aged person’s life and legacy, providing a sense of closure and celebration for those who are grieving. By adopting this approach, we can create a more compassionate, personalized, and meaningful experience for the aged as they approach the end of their life journey.
How can families support end-of-life care? Families can play a vital role in supporting end-of-life care for their loved ones. Here are some ways families can provide support:
Emotional Support: (1) Be present: Spend quality time with your loved one, listening to their concerns and feelings. (2) Validate their emotions: Acknowledge and validate your loved one’s emotions, even if you don’t agree with their perspective. (3) Encourage open communication: Create a safe and supportive environment where your loved one feels comfortable discussing their end-of-life wishes and concerns.
Practical Support: (1) Help with daily tasks: Assist with daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, and managing medications. (2) Manage logistics: Help with logistical tasks such as arranging transportation, managing finances, and coordinating care. (3) Provide respite care: Give caregivers a break by providing respite care, allowing them to rest and recharge.
Advocacy and Decision-Making: (1) Respect their wishes: Honor your loved one’s end-of-life wishes, including their preferences for medical treatment, palliative care, and hospice care. (2) Make informed decisions: Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition, treatment options, and end-of-life care options to make informed decisions. (3) Advocate for their needs: Advocate for your loved one’s needs, including their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Spiritual and Cultural Support: (1) Respect their spiritual beliefs: Honor your loved one’s spiritual beliefs and practices and provide opportunities for them to engage in spiritual activities. (2 Incorporate cultural traditions: Incorporate cultural traditions and practices into your loved one’s end-of-life care, providing comfort and meaning. (3) Provide emotional and spiritual support: Provide emotional and spiritual support to your loved one, helping them to find peace and acceptance.
Seeking Professional Help: (1) Hospice care: Consider hospice care, which provides comprehensive support for individuals with terminal illnesses. (2) Palliative care: Consider palliative care, which provides relief from the symptoms, pain, and stress of a serious illness. (3) Grief counseling: Seek grief counseling or therapy to support yourself and your loved ones during the end-of-life journey. By providing emotional, practical, and spiritual support, families can play a vital role in supporting end-of-life care for their loved ones.
Navigating the Challenges of Aging: A Calm and Resilient Approach
Reaching the age of 75 is a significant milestone, marking the halfway point in the most challenging decade of life. As I approach this milestone, I’ve come to realize that aging requires a distinct mindset. It’s essential to adopt a calm and resilient approach to life, characterized by:
– Embracing a calmer mentality and spirit
– Pursuing fewer goals and desires
– Lowering expectations and standards
– Moving at a slower and more deliberate pace
– Engaging in regular exercise and physical activity
– Practicing moderation in food and drink
A New Perspective on Life
As one approaches the end of life’s journey, it’s crucial to adopt a new perspective. Life is no longer about achieving grand goals or accumulating wealth. Instead, it’s about:
– Cherishing each day
– Living in the present
– Making the most of the time that remains
As the Bible verse Philippians 1:21 reminds us, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” This mindset has enabled me to fully embrace the challenges and beauty of aging, both as an individual experiencing it and as a caregiver and advisor. In conclusion, the road to 80 is indeed fraught with challenges, but with a calm and resilient approach, one can navigate these difficulties and discover a new perspective on life. By embracing this mindset, we can transform the aging process into a journey of growth, reflection, and purpose.
Concluding Remarks:
In conclusion, aging well and supporting the aged require a comprehensive approach that addresses physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. By adopting a calm and resilient mindset, prioritizing our own well-being, and supporting our aging parents, we can navigate the challenges of aging with dignity, grace, and love. Ultimately, aging is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and support. By working together, we can create a society that values and supports older adults, enabling them to live fulfilling and meaningful lives, but also exit with dignity, joy and comfort.
Isaac Megbolugbe, 2024 Marquis Organization’s Class of Top Executives in the United States of America, senior advisor, and managing principal of GIVA International, former director of Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Senior Housing and Care, retired professor at Carey Business School, Johns Hopkins University, and fellow at Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors. He is resident in the United State of America.
