The Art of Wise Caring: Learning to Help Others Without Harming Ourselves
Isaac Megbolugbe
September 1, 2024
As I reflect on my experiences caring for my adult children and needy relatives, I’ve come to realize the importance of wise caring. It’s a delicate balance between showing compassion and setting boundaries, between helping others and preserving our own well-being. The story of the pilot whales stranding themselves on a Scottish beach serves as a poignant reminder of the dangers of unchecked caring. Their strong social bonds, while admirable, ultimately led to harm.
The Bible encourages us to help others, but also to be wise in how we do so. We’re cautioned against enabling others’ destructive behaviors (Galatians 6:1) and reminded to love ourselves too (Matthew 22:39). Proverbs 22:3 warns us to recognize danger and take refuge, lest we pay the penalty.
In my own life, I’ve learned the hard way about the importance of boundaries. I’ve seen well-meaning helpers burn out from responding to others’ cries without restraint. The solution isn’t to turn people away but to establish boundaries that protect both the helper and the helped.
Jesus, the ultimate helper, modeled wise caring. He took time for rest (Mark 4:38) and ensured His disciples’ needs weren’t displaced by others’ needs (Mark 6:31). By prioritizing our own health and well-being, we’ll have more care to give in the long term.
So, how can we practice wise caring?
1. Set boundaries: Learn to say no and prioritize your own needs.
2. Encourage self-sufficiency: Help others develop skills to care for themselves.
3. Recognize danger: Be aware of situations that may harm you or others.
4. Take refuge: Prioritize rest and self-care.
5. Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you.
By embracing wise caring, we can create a more sustainable and compassionate community, where helpers are valued and preserved, and those in need receive the support they require without harming others.
