The Transformative Power of a Woman’s Respect: A 75-Year Echo
Isaac Megbolugbe
October 2026
Introduction
In my seven and a half decades of life, I have observed a subtle yet pervasive norm in how women often interact with the men around them. Whether as mothers, sisters, friends, or romantic partners, the normative tendency for a woman is frequently to view a man as something to be “handled,” managed, or dealt with.
Yet, in those rare and beautiful situations where a woman consciously chooses a posture of genuine respect over management, the impact is nothing short of explosive. As I approach my 75th birthday, I am sharing this reflection as part of my 75-Year Echoes series to honor the women who shaped my journey through the gift of their respect.
The Norm of “Handling” vs. The Gift of Respect
For many men, the baseline of their interactions with women involves being managed. It is an underlying dynamic meant to guide, correct, or neutralize. While often born out of protective or practical instincts, it fundamentally alters the connection.
However, when a woman offers true respect, the dynamic shifts entirely. Once a woman respects you, she does not try to handle you. Instead, she:
In many ways, experienced over a lifetime, a woman’s respect is even more powerful than her love. Love can be possessive or protective; respect is liberating and elevating.
Echoes of Respect Across My Journey
Looking back at the tapestry of my life, a few pivotal relationships beautifully illustrate this rare dynamic:
1. A Mother’s Lasting Blueprint
My late mother embodied this posture of respect toward me all my life. I recall a time when one of my senior sisters tried to force my mother’s hand, urging her to “handle” me so that my sister could get her way. Out of deep reverence and respect for my mother, I willingly obliged and went along with it. Eventually, the day came when I refused to be managed in that way anymore, and far from being upset, my mother was visibly relieved. She had always trusted my autonomy.
2. The Graduate School Peer and the Catalyst for GIVA
During my days at Ahmadu Bello University (ABU), a female classmate treated me with an extraordinary level of respect—almost as if I were her Professor rather than her peer. Decades later, that foundational respect blossomed into an enduring legacy, profoundly changing the trajectory of GIVA Apologetics Ministry.
She became one of the most faithful and fiercely supportive friends of my ministry. Her impact went far beyond mere attendance; she deeply engaged with the work. She told me consistently that she found my articles deeply edifying, describing my writing as comprehensively clear, sharp, and instructive. She looked to me for spiritual guidance, constantly asking how she could strengthen her own relationship with the Lord, and frequently reminded me that she found my perspective both empowering and inspiring.
Her expressive vote of confidence and her completely honest sharing of admiration was tremendous. It gave me a unique creative fuel. When I returned the favor with my own warmth, she once asked me about the motives behind my emotional generosity towards her. I knew she loved me, but it was her respect that truly moved me.
I explained to her that my baseline for interacting with her was anchored firmly in Colossians 3:23: “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.” I loved to serve her as if unto the Lord because doing so brought me pure joy. She felt deeply blessed by these gestures of friendship, and that mutual loop of respect and service solidified her as a pillar of support for GIVA Apologetics Ministry.
3. The Youthful Romance
Even in my youth, I experienced this rare grace from a young woman who was a love interest. She looked at me with immense respect. Sadly, the relationship faced external friction; her close friend was vehemently opposed to me, warning her that I would “take advantage” of her because of that very respect. They mistook her respect for vulnerability, failing to see the strength behind it.
The Explosive Effect on a Man’s Soul
Whenever I found myself in these rare circumstances where a woman extended true respect to me, my internal response was never to take advantage. Instead, I became entirely in awe of them.
[A Woman’s Respect]
│
▼
[Awe & Reverence] ──► [Unleashed Self-Confidence] ──► [Creative & Productive Energy]
Receiving that vote of confidence acts as an emotional and psychological catalyst. It creates a profound feedback loop:
Final Thoughts at 74
As I stand at 74 years old and look forward to the milestone of my next birthday, these memories grow sharper and more meaningful. To the men reading this: when you find a woman who respects you, treasure her, because she is offering you the keys to your own greatness. And to the women who have the courage to trade management for respect: you possess the quiet power to build kingdoms in the hearts of the men you choose to lift up.
Thank you for reading this installment of my life reflections. This is part of my 75-Year Echoes series.
Isaac Megbolugbe, Director of GIVA Ministries International. He is a recipient of Albert Nelson Marquis Lifetime Achievement Award in business and academia in the United States of America. He is retired professor at Johns Hopkins University and a Fellow of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors. He is resident in the United States of America.
