Softness and Survival: A Zero-Sum Game in a Godly Marriage
Isaac Megbolugbe
October 8, 2024
Introduction
In a Godly marriage, softness and survival are mutually exclusive. A wife’s ability to flourish in her femininity hinges on feeling safe, secure, and relaxed. When softness reigns, survival instincts recede, and the marriage thrives.
The Restful Haven of Godly Marriage
A Godly marriage provides a sanctuary where a woman can let her guard down, trusting her husband’s words and actions. This restful environment allows her to blossom into a relaxed woman, unencumbered by the burdens of self-preservation.
Softness vs. Survival
Softness and survival are opposing forces:
– Softness: Vulnerability, trust, emotional openness, and receptivity.
– Survival: Self-protection, defensiveness, emotional guardedness, and control.
In a marriage, one dominates the other, depending on the circumstances.
Consequences of Survival Mode
When a wife operates in survival mode:
– She becomes hyper-vigilant, anticipating potential threats.
– Her femininity is suppressed, replaced by a tough exterior.
– Competition and fighting ensue, as she strives to protect herself.
– Her husband feels emasculated, unable to fulfill his role.
The Beauty of Softness
When a wife feels relaxed and secure:
– Her femininity flourishes, and she radiates warmth and nurturing energy.
– Trust deepens, and communication becomes open and honest.
– Her husband is empowered to lead, provide, and protect.
– The marriage becomes a haven of peace, harmony, and mutual support.
God’s Design for Marriage
Scripture illustrates the beauty of this dynamic:
– Ephesians 5:25-33: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the Church.
– 1 Peter 3:1-7: Wives, submit to your husbands, and husbands, honor your wives.
Practical Applications
To cultivate a restful marriage:
1. Husbands, prioritize creating a safe environment.
2. Wives, learn to trust and let go of control.
3. Communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully.
4. Foster emotional intimacy and vulnerability.
Conclusion
In a Godly marriage, softness and survival cannot coexist. By embracing softness, a wife can flourish, and the marriage can thrive. As husbands provide a safe haven, wives can relax, trust, and radiate their femininity. Together, they can experience the beauty of a restful, God-ordained union.
Reflection Questions
1. How can you, as a husband, create a safe environment for your wife?
2. What steps can you, as a wife, take to trust and let go of control?
3. How can you both prioritize emotional intimacy and vulnerability?
Scripture Meditation
– Ephesians 5:25-33
– 1 Peter 3:1-7
– Proverbs 31:10-31
May your marriage become a sanctuary of rest, where softness and love reign supreme.
